iMiss My Mom
by Seiji and Shizuku 4ever
Summary: Sometimes the pain we try to harbor just grows, even as we suppress it. Then when the buried memories and sorrow hit, it hits hard. "I'm sick and tired of you guys griping about your moms! At least you even HAVE a mother!" Oneshot.


**A/N: Well hello thar :3 I really love watching iCarly, but I never thought I'd be writing fanfics about it. xD I thought my other iCarly oneshot, Punchin U, would be the only one, but I got this idea and acted on the writer's rush! xDDD Anywhoozle, this idea isn't very original and has probably been used by other authors, so I'm sorry if I accidentally copy off anyone! I'm a little worried about how my characterization on everyone will be, because iCarly.. well, it's hilarious, and I'm more of a romance/drama genre than funny. xDD But oh well, we'll see how it turns out!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly. If I owned a tv show like that, I'd be waaay too busy to write this fanfic. Duh.**

**Hope you like! x3**

* * *

The day was gray and cloudy and occasionally gave a warning rumble. It was funny how the weather could easily match one's mood.

During rehearsal for the next iCarly, Carly was distant and withdrawn, much quieter than usual. She kept staring out the window and sighing to herself, as if in a whole other world. If Freddie and Sam noticed, they didn't let on. They were too busy arguing with each other - a normal day for the bickering duo.

"It's not _my _fault I'm late!" Sam snapped, eyes narrowed as she crossed her arms. "My mom decided last-minute that she wanted to cook me something before I left, trying to be your typical good mom."

"So?" Freddie countered with a scowl.

"_So _you could say cooking's never been her forte. She tried to make a flipping grilled cheese sandwich, but we were out of bread, so she decided she'd just grill the cheese. Like that totally makes sense. Well, she put it on the stove with the plastic still on. It caught fire, she tried to put it out with water, but that only made it bigger, so she waved a towel around while she screamed at me not to call the firefighter's because that would be a pain in the - well, you know."

Normally where Carly would be attentive to the story and laugh every now and then, now she didn't give any indication she was listening. If anything, she seemed to get moodier. Freddie, however, was drawn in. His brown eyes were wide. "So what happened?"

Sam rolled her eyes as she sank into a beanbag chair. "I finally found the fire extinguisher. It hadn't been used in years, so it took a bit, but I got it." She sighed, reaching for a glass of iced tea that had been put out for her. "That's the last time I ever let my mom cook. No wonder we eat take-out and groceries all the time. I thought it was because she was lazy. ..Not that she isn't," she added after a thoughtful pause.

Freddie rolled his eyes too. "Man. I'd _love _to eat take-out every once in a while. _My _mom decided that it was all too fattening, so I'm stuck with her healthy, nearly vegan cooking. We've had asparagus so much it's about to come out my ears."

Sam grinned a little. "Our moms both suck, but in totally opposite ways."

Freddie laughed and nodded in agreement. "Yeah, now that you mention it. I've never thought about it that way before."

Carly had put up with the both of them complaining about their moms for years. But now it seemed to have gone over the edge. She shot up, a certain tightness in her face. "I'm sick and tired of you guys griping about your moms!" she shouted so suddenly and abruptly they both jumped and looked at her in confusion. Carly ducked her head, her voice having the tiniest quaver at her next words. "At least you even _have _a mother!"

Her friends were stunned into silence. Carly had never let on that she had those feelings, not once the entire time they'd known her. So naturally, this came as a shock to them. Surprise and guilt flickered across their faces. Sam stepped forward. "Carly.."

Embarrassed at her sudden bout of rage, flustered, and gripped with emotion, Carly lifted her gaze to glare angrily at them, tears shimmering in her dark eyes. "Oh, go suck a lemon!" she snapped, being the wonderful comeback master she was, before tearing out of the room and fleeing the iCarly set.

Freddie exchanged a worried glance with Sam before starting to follow. "I'm going after her."

Silently, Sam reached out an arm to stop him. "No. Let her chill and cool off for a while," she said quietly. "If she's anything like me when I'm mad, she won't listen to us if we try to apologize just yet."

Impatience lined Freddie's brow. "We can't just let her run off! _You're _her best friend. If anyone, she'll listen to you. Go check on her, please." His concern for the brunette was evident.

Sam sighed, her concern equivalent to his. "Ok." She hurried to the elevator, banging the button repeatedly before it opened too slowly for her liking.

As it closed, Freddie stepped closer and called to her. "Tell her I'm sorry!"

Before Sam could answer, the elevator door shut completely.

* * *

Freddie had to make a few adjustments to the iCarly website and edited their next webcast's script, his mind elsewhere as he did. He wondered if Sam had talked to Carly yet. _Is she still mad? Is she ready to talk? Did she try to push Sam away? _Unanswered questions buzzed in his head.

Well, one way to find out. As soon as he was done, Freddie took off down the stairs and was met with the sight of Sam sitting on a stool at the counter. "How'd it go? Is Carly o-" He stopped short as he headed her way, taking in Sam more closely. "...You're sucking a lemon?"

Sam turned and glared at him, sure enough, eating and sucking a lemon slice. Not one time did she purse her lips from the sourness. "I don't tell you how to live _your _life."

"...Uh, yeah, you do."

"Ok, yeah, I do," Sam admitted, throwing the lemon slice somewhere.

"Well?" Freddie pressed, looking around. "Where's Carly? Did you-"

"No. She's locked up in her room and refuses to come out. I didn't get to say a word to her." Sam sighed and rested her elbow on the counter, supporting her chin with her hand.

Freddie sighed irritably and sank into the stool beside her. "Well, that's just great." He was silent for a moment. "..It seemed to come out of nowhere, didn't it?"

"Definitely. Carly's never talked about her mom." Sam looked like she felt bad just talking about it. "..Not to be mean-"

"For once," Freddie put in, which earned him a ferocious glare from Sam. "Sorry. Go on."

"..But you'd think there'd be at least a picture of her somewhere. Their mom. Y'know?" Sam looked down. "I mean, even my mom has a picture or two of my dad hanging around. And he's been out of the picture for years."

"Yeah," Freddie agreed. "Nice pun."

"Thank you. It was unintentional."

"Those are the best ones."

"Yeah." Their short-lived conversation drew to an awkward close. Then their savior came.

Spencer came through the door, lugging two grocery bags. "I got a sweet deal on chizz today! Apparently it's an German sausage," he announced brightly, then stopped short at the looks on their faces. "You two look like someone just punched your grandmas. What's up?" Spencer went to the kitchen and placed the grocery bags on the counter. "And where's Carly? I want her to try the chizz!"

"I'd actually be glad if someone punched my grandma," Sam admitted nonchalantly. "Somebody needs to put her in her place."

The boys absorbed this in silence for several seconds as they stared at her incredulously. Freddie shook his head and turned to Spencer. "..Um, Carly's mad."

"Why? Did you eat her soap?" The teens stared at him blankly. "..Yeah, I made that mistake once."

"No!" Sam spat. "Listen, Freddie and I were complaining about our moms. Then Carly has a spazz attack and tells us to quit griping and to be glad we even have moms." She scrutinized her friend's older brother suspiciously. "She's _never _done that before. And Lord knows how much we've whined about our moms since we've known her. So what's the deal?"

During her story, Spencer's facade had turned grave and solemn, and he'd stopped short in unloading the groceries. He slowly turned to face them, letting out his breath long and slow. "..Well, I wouldn't expect you guys to know." He sat down across from them, running a hand through his dark hair. "..It's Mom's birthday today."

Freddie and Sam looked at him, waiting for more. Before he could go on, a creak on the stairs caught their attention. The trio turned to see Carly on the stairs, her face looking like glass - like it might shatter at any moment. Her eyes were puffy and red-rimmed, and her lips quivered. Before any one of them could make a move, Carly dashed to the door, slamming it behind her as she made her fast-paced departure.

Sam shot out of her seat. "I'm going after her." She turned to give Spencer a hard stare. "Do you have any idea where she's headed?"

Spencer answered immediately. "When she's especially upset, she either goes to the roof or snack room." Before he had even finished his sentence Sam was out the door.

Sam turned back and forth, torn between two destinations. She decided to try the roof first. Just her gut instinct. Sam desperately hoped her gut was right as she sprinted down the corridor and to the elevator. Why was it that they were always so slow when you were in a hurry? Sam waited with extreme impatience as it opened, closed, and rose to the roof.

Nothing at all had prepared her for the sight that greeted her when the door slowly opened. "..Carly?" Sam gasped, panic streaking through her as she ran to her best friend's side. "CARLY!"

* * *

"..Carly's never gotten over it. I think she was the one that took Mom's death the hardest," Spencer said grimly. "It was a rainy night." He shrugged, fiddling with a fork to occupy his hands as he relayed the story he hadn't been able to tell in years. "Mom took a drive. ..And, well, I don't think I have to say the rest. Only good thing about it was that they said it killed her instantly. No suffering or pain." He sighed, rubbing his brow. The memory of that horrible night still had a way of getting to him.

Freddie was speechless. He had no idea what to say. He knew that no words could possibly be able to console. "..I didn't know. I'm so sorry, Spencer. I never should've.."

Spencer reached out to clasp Freddie's shoulder. "Don't blame yourself. You couldn't have known." He looked down. "Carly has a way of burying that stuff down deep. She thinks it'll help the hurt, but it doesn't. Just makes it worse."

Freddie swallowed, not wanting to ask yet needing to know. "..When did it happen?"

"When Carly was seven." Spencer sighed. "Too young to lose a parent. It was really hard on her. Having to explain to a little girl that her mommy's never coming back.." His voice caught and he paused to regain his composure. "..I think that's what brought on her asthma attack, actually. The stress and grief she was feeling."

Freddie took that in... then froze, body rigid, as a sudden thought struck him. He exchanged one glance with Spencer and a message passed between them. The same thing seemed to occur to Spencer. "Maybe..we should check on them," Freddie suggested.

"Good idea." Spencer disappeared and came back shortly, Carly's asthma inhaler in hand. "Let's go."

* * *

Trembling, Sam had no idea what to do at Carly's convulsing form on the ground as she repeatedly gasped for breath, her face draining of color. "Carly! Carly!" Tears blurred the blonde's vision as she knelt beside Carly, afraid to move, afraid to shake her.. afraid to even speak. Sam seemed rooted to the spot in her terror. Carly's panicked and desperate eyes met hers, and then Sam knew what she needed to do.

She needed to get Carly's inhaler. She was having a severe asthma attack. She remembered the day Carly had nearly gone to move with her grandpa to Yakama: Spencer had come out with her inhaler and insisted they take it with them even though Carly had only had one asthma attack when she was little. But yet, Sam didn't want to leave Carly's side even for a second. Her breath caught in her throat, the tears in her eyes streaming down her face as she blinked. Sam weighed her options, torn. "Carly! What should I do?" she shrieked. As if she could even answer her.

And then Sam didn't think she'd ever been so relieved in her life. The elevator door opened, revealing the tense, expectant forms of Spencer and Freddie. "Spencer! Freddie!" Sam screamed, waving them over. "COME OVER HERE RIGHT NOW! Carly..she's..." Sam's hands were shaking too badly to wrench the inhaler from Spencer's as her throat closed up, forbidding her from speaking further.

Spencer was at his sister's side in the blink of an eye, oddly enough looking serenely calm as he lodged the inhaler in Carly's mouth. "Breathe, Carly!"

Carly gripped the inhaler and gulped down deep intakes of breath, gasping for air. Eventually her body stopped wracking with physical exertion, though it trembled from the overall fear of the situation. Once she had regained her breath, Carly burst into sobs, burying her face in Spencer's chest as his arms engulfed her in a hug.

Also crying, Freddie and Sam joined, making it an official group hug as they spread their arms around Carly. The foursome huddled together as a light sprinkle began to fall. "Carly, we're so sorry," Sam managed, voice breaking.

"No, _I'm _sorry," Carly said, pure sorrow resonating in her voice. "I should've told you guys.." She choked off.

Spencer kissed the top of her head. "I know Mom's death is still hard on you, kiddo," he whispered. "It is for me too, sometimes. ..But you know what helps me?" Carly tilted her head to look up at him expectantly, rain mingling with the tear stains on her face. "..Talking to good friends about it. I know Socko had to put up with me lots of nights." Spencer's grip on her tightened. "..You shouldn't hide your pain, Carly."

Freddie now spoke up, his deep voice trembling the slightest bit as the rain matted his dark hair. "..Carly, we all have at least one missing parent in the family. Sam and I don't have dads in our lives. ..So, in a way, we can relate to your pain. Please, talk to us next time you're hurting. Ok?"

"Ok," Carly agreed, taking in a shuddering breath.

Sam reached out to slip an arm around Carly's shoulders supportively. "Anytime," she confirmed with a light smile.

Carly looked around at her friends and brother. She was so happy to have them in her life. It would never truly compensate for the hole in her heart her mom's death had left. But it would certainly help. "Oh, I love you guys. I initiate another group hug."

Spencer, Sam, and Freddie were more than happy to oblige as they all embraced again, the tiniest hint of the sun peeking through the storm clouds.

* * *

**A/N: One thing I love about iCarly is that it has its dramas and realities just as much as its humor. I hope I did well with that; I tried not to focus too hard on the drama and humor itselves. I hope I was able to blend it together in an iCarly way, if that makes sense. *shrug* But I guess that's up to you reviewers to decide. :D Pleeease leave a review! I would totally appreciate some feedback, whether encouraging or critical! ^_^ I really didn't like my writing style in this story: it just didn't seem to flow as it usually does. =/ *sigh* Oh well.**

**Oh, and btw, I got the chizz thing from Victorious :D Dan Schneider seriously makes some awesome shows. xD Chizz..**


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